We all know Chinese Pop Music sucks. All you have to do is listen to it. I thought it might be interesting to take a look at some of the underlying reasons why the stuff on the radio is utter garbage.
1. KTV
KTV is the spawn of the devil and it ruins pop music. The simple truth is that most people can’t sing worth a damn and they get very flustered trying to sing songs with complicated melodies. In China, KTV is exceptionally important. For your song to be a hit, people need to able to sing it passably drinking green tea & whiskey while fish-eyed pseudo hookers clap along. Good luck getting some sauced business man to hit a melody more complicated then “Laoshu Ai Da Mi.”
2. Self-Censorship
I’m not going to say anything here. I’m not going to say anything here. I’m not going to say anything here.
3. Advertising
Good pop music can be commercial, but can it be strictly commercial? I don’t think so. Chinese Pop is basically a platform to create advertising spokesmen, I mean how else can you sell instant noodles? If you’re music career is about creating a personal brand that will make you billboard-ready, you’re probably gonna play it pretty safe.
4. No Dancing Allowed
James Brown once said something like “The only good music is something you can grind to or dance to.” I agree with him. Chinese Pop, however, is more like a campfire sing-along. It’s not music for your body, it’s music that everyone can sing together while shaking horrible plastic percussion instruments and buying sex. Think about campfire songs in English–can you really get into “Michael Row Your Boat?” Maybe if there were companions (read: hookers) sitting around the ol’ campfire.
